Whacked (Xbox)

Van Tastic has hair and teeth enough for several shampoo and toothpaste commercials

It’s hard to describe the insanity of the world Presto Studios have implemented for Whacked! Imagine Cartoon Network doing speed after midnight in a world, where reality shows are even more deranged than today.

The concept is very simple. Seven contestants in the TV-show Whacked! have to beat their way through different courses, in the fight for the ultimate prize. A prize best described by the host Van Tastic himself as “a big, shiny, pure silk, air conditioned, chocolate covered, solid gold, tax free, extra cheese, double D, fingerlickin’ lap dance of wow” – and that should give you a sense of the games vibe.

The most apparent thing about the game is the characters, including the abundantly self-satisfied host, very aggressive rabbits, psychotic looking little girls and the absolute star of the show Lucy – a hot piece of woman who’s full figure blows her tight latex suit from the beginning of the show, resulting in her proudly showing her privates for the rest of the game…well almost anyway…

Another Live! title

This would be a nightmare for most people dressing i bodytight latex - but Lucy doesn't seem to care at all

Beginning the game you have four characters to select from, which is the same amount you will be able to play online when Xbox Live! arrives. Once again we can conclude that where the launch titles for the Xbox itself seemed a little late for our tastes, the launch titles for Xbox Live! are a bit too early.

There is no doubt that Whacked! is an online title and has been developed as such which is why it seems a bit odd that only four players can play simultaneously. It does nevertheless improve the fun factor quite substantially to play against human players, cause even though the madness is complete and the laughs are plenty it does eventually get a little tiresome when playing alone.

You don’t have to wait for Xbox Live! to beat up your friends though. The game supports four-player split screen and system link as well, and as appealing as it may seem to swing Lucy’s female attributes in the face of a Chinese player on the other side of the planet, it is in fact a lot more fun to beat up a friend sitting next to you in the couch.

Unreality show

It would seem a little unpleasant running around naked with a beehive under your arm - but not in Whacked!

The basics of the game is very simple. As a contestant in Whacked! you must fight your way to victory through four rounds, each containing three sets, in which you must win in three different types of combat.

The types of combat varies from collecting stars, killing chickens and beating up opponents to several even more bizarre forms of entertainment, but none of them alter the core gameplay very much.

Neither do the 12 different courses, even though they each contribute with some extra hidden features adding to the fun and joy of things, and they especially add to the overall madness of the gaming universe. Everything from space stations to the trunk of a car on the run is used, and the scale of things differs from stage to stage, resulting in the player being two inches one moment and 70 the next.

Bonus hell

Yep, that IS little ducklings in pools of blood - and they blow up too

There are an almost infinite number of bonuses to get hold of in Whacked! and this aspect is in it self part of the reason why the game doesn’t drown in it’s own repetitive gameplay structure. For each round you win you get access to new weapons including the circus cannon, the shish ka bob and the staple gun but even with all 20 weapons unleashed, there’s still plenty of stuff to get hold of.

Invisibility, armor and human torch are some of the ten power ups you can enhance your lifespan with and on top of that there are 12 different ‘Big Red Buttons’ that when pushed changes the rules of the game so you all of a sudden can find yourself in a Missile fest or a game of Tag where everyone suddenly decides to chop you, and only you, up.

Commercials I would like to see

As if this wasn’t enough the game is able to hold on to the TV-show illusion by constantly interrupting the action with a “word from our sponsor”, and this is by far the most bizarre aspect of the game. Here you are presented with products as “My First Chainsaw” or the handy “Yolk-o-matic”, while more informative spots gives you some handy advice under titles such as “How to walk with a rock”. All of it is presented in very childlike drawings adding to the insanity and fun of it all.

These commercials are, together with the hilarious movie clips from the studio, the greatest motivator to get you through each and every level of the game. If you are in the right mood it will be with tears trickling down your chin that you can sit back and enjoy the insane vulgarity in Theater Mode.

The hunt for pure online gaming

The reactions of each character are as bizarre as the rest of the game

It is well known that a lot of console players are party players. The more the merrier. Action rather than depth. Never the less it is obvious that game developers have had a hard time figuring out how to support this type of gaming which will be even more obvious now that the consoles are beginning to get online.

Microsoft tried to get up front with their launch title Fusion Frenzy but it never became the hit they had hoped for and now they try again with Whacked! While there is no doubt that it is the later of the two that is the most appealing I still have my doubts whether it will do.

It is a fulltime job to deal with the covering of Lucy's attributes throughout the game

The humoristic tone is perfect, for my tastes anyway, and this is what evidently drives the game to its goals. It will however be hard to maintain the same amount of madness when the game comes online and the gameplay itself is not exactly revolutionary. It is definitely a lot of fun running around naked and bashing chickens with a stapler, but underneath the appealing surface is a pretty repetitive game that won’t keep you around for too long, despite the four difficulty settings.


Whacked! lives up to it’s name. It is whacky, it is violent and it is full of insane and vulgar humor. It is instant fun and perfect for an afternoon with the guys. But maybe it will only be for that one afternoon and that makes it quite an expensive purchase…